Be Thou NOT, a Tootsie Roll
7/30/2017
Good morning. What do you think about when you hear the
word, Consequences? Does this word
elicit a positive response or a negative one?
I think that we tend to think of consequences as being negative-Why is
that? I’ve though a lot about that word
and how it has changed me over the last year.
Now, hold that thought we will get back to that word… Consequences.
I like to think of myself as a glass
half full kind of gal, but for a little bit now I’ve allowed the words of
others change that for me. I’ve been in
sales in some aspect or another for the majority of my adult career. Whether in Advertising, marketing or new home
sales, I’ve had a quota to hit. It had always been something that I thrived on,
the challenge, the drive, the ability to make it or break it all based on my
personal ability to show another person or business why my solution is what
they needed to meet their goals and achieve their mission. And at this, boy did I shine!
I had a manager when I worked at Angie’s List
who totally understood the power of positive motivation and being a servant
leader. He once sent me a note that
read, “You are a pink Starburst! You have always been a pink Starburst! Not yellow
or orange, but pink.” My clients loved
me and I loved my clients and we were both WINNING! Although, lately in my position with a new
company this was not the case. I began noticing I was losing that super amazingly
sweet strawberriness. I was feeling like more of a Tootsie Roll. And let’s face it, after Trick or Treating, when the kids are separating out their loot on the kitchen table, no one is
trading that pink Starburst in their Halloween candy for a Tootsie Roll. Follow
me?
My new tootsie roll status all
had to do with this word, Consequences.
Not in the good, positive way either.
I reflected on this for a long time and realized I was not concentrating
on that which brought me such joy, but on the negative consequences and it was
all due to the way in which I was being spoken to and the way I was speaking to
others. Now, this is not to say I wasn’t
taking responsibility for my actions because I was. But I was also giving
others so much power over me by the way they would negatively motivate with
words like, If you don’t then… If you can’t then… You have to or else… And furthermore, I was
being asked to have others concentrate on that which they didn’t have or to
create the fear of their future promise being lost. All bundled up in a manipulative sales tactic
of “Creating Urgency”. It was all meant
to sound helpful and customer centric, but what it felt like was self-serving
and wrong and it was making me miserable.
I didn’t feel good mentally or
physically. All of this really hit home
when my children began asking why I was angry all of the time and when my 18
year old called me out more than once for being rude and impatient to random
sales or service people and the last straw was when my sweet Gemma stated, “You
don’t love me anymore”. – let me tell you, never have I felt more like that fake
chocolate flavored, turd shaped candy than at that moment.
Let me ask you, have you ever had
someone attempt to motivate you in this negative, fearful way? Concentrating on
the bad consequences, instilling fear in order to promote their agenda? Here’s something else to ponder- How often do
you or I do the same thing, every day? And even worse to the people we love? Yes, me too.
All of the time.
We live in a world where much of our
life tries to control our actions by using FEAR. If you don’t take these classes, or do these
sports or these activities you won’t or can’t get into that great college. OR if you don’t dress or look like this then
you won’t be stylish enough or have enough friends. Or if you don’t eat a vegetable based diet
and pack your kids lunches and avoid all GMO products, then your family isn’t
healthy enough. I can go on and on. But
we as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have been
taught to live life with joy! To take
pleasure in this life. Yes, to learn and grow from our experiences, but to also
have Faith and to Fear Not. Yet, from
time to time we allow the world to make us fearful and also in turn use those
same manipulative tactics of fear in unrighteous dominion in our own lives.
In our last General Conference, President
Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a talk titled, “Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear”. In it he speaks about how historically, fear
has often been used as a means to get people to take action. He says, “Parents
have used it with their children, employers with employees, and politicians
with voters. It is true that fear can have a powerful influence over our
actions and behavior. But that influence tends to be temporary and shallow.
Fear rarely has the power to change our hearts, and it will never transform us
into people who love what is right and who want to obey Heavenly Father.”
It’s funny how talks work in this
way. This talk I was asked to speak upon
by President Uchtdorf spoke to me. I was
almost like I thought, “Has Chad been talking to David?” Knowing this wasn’t the case, I knew it to be
an answer to the things I had been asking in prayer. While studying for this talk, I also came
upon Doctrine & Covenants 121:36-37, it reads: That the
rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven,
and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the
principles of righteousness.
37. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake
to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise
control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any
degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit
of the Lord is grieved;
This scripture resonated with
me. I was miserable because of
unrighteous dominion and I was further perpetuating this unrighteous dominion
to my children, my husband and others around me. Talk about misery loving company. But this is
exactly what Satan wants and how he works. And in this, the spirit cannot be in
our presence or in our homes or within ourselves.
So, I realized I had to take a good look at myself and change some
things. First, my job. After much loving and thoughtful
conversation, Chad and I decided the best thing for me and our family was for
me to resign from my job. Check that box.
That was the easy part. Now came
the more difficult part and that was changing myself, because I, like many
other well-meaning parents, had used this kind of what I felt was “doing my job”
mentality to make my kids healthy, strong, smart, kind, loving, productive, Christ-like
adults. But I was taking the plan made by
Satan. The, “I will make you do it. You are going to do it or else…Plan”. These
messages are not productive, nor do they allow the spirit to guide us or to stay
with us. Nevertheless, the great thing
is that just as easily as fearful messages come off the tongue, so can the positive,
loving Christ-like messages. “If you don’t
eat your vegetables, then you can’t have dessert.” Can so easily become, “If you eat all
of your vegetables, then you get to have dessert.” I realized it’s a matter of perspective. I needed to go back to seeing the glass half
full instead of half empty. There are
always going to be consequences, but we need not be fearful of them. Yes, we should recognize that there is a good
or bad consequence to our actions, but the focus of our lives and to our
children and families and friends needs to be that laser like focus on the
light and good consequences in the world.
The good and light that comes from Christ and his perfect love. There’s enough out there to remind us of the
bad.
President Uchtdorf tells us that, “In
our homes, in our places of business, in our Church callings, in our hearts,
let us replace fear with Christ’s perfect love. Christ’s love will replace fear
with faith! His love will enable us to
recognize, trust, and have faith in our Heavenly Father’s goodness, His divine
plan, His gospel, and His commandments. Loving God and our fellowmen will turn our
obedience to God’s commandments into a blessing rather than a burden. His love
will help us become a little kinder, more forgiving, more caring, and more
dedicated to His work. And as we fill
our hearts with the love of Christ, we will awaken with a renewed spiritual
freshness and we will walk joyfully, confidently, awake, and alive in the light
and glory of our beloved Savior, Jesus Christ.
Brothers and Sisters, daily we are
inundated with negative fearful messages from social media, work, school,
politics and the world in general. The
world is full of tootsie rolls. Let us
as a peculiar people go in Courage, Faith, and Righteousness and in Christ’s
perfect love, share our sweet messages of joy and be Pink Starbursts. I say these things ever so humbly, in the name
of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Here's the link if you'd like to read President Uchtdorf's talk, Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear or you can watch it here Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear
I hope you all have a lovely Sunday with your friends and families!
Love,
Molly
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